This feels like falling in love all over again.
But a hundred times more terrifying.
Saturday, 28 August 2010
Sunday, 22 August 2010
Say Hey
Not sure if I'm exactly happy, but I know for real that I'm relieved, being where I am. At least it affords me enough distance to view things more objectively.
Closer to other issues, but I think I've got that one sorted. =)
Some changes will be implemented soon on this blog, and hopefully, in my life.
As of the 23rd another chapter begins. And in a year, hopefully some progress, and a new place to flourish in.
It doesn't matter if you're still part of the plan or not, as long as I'm in it, and following it up, and happy.
That's all that counts, really.
Enough of chasing shadows, I've just confronted an old one. And in the end, no one's really the real issue, when my own demons are the very things that incite all the bullshit currently plaguing me.
I've very blessed, and very loved.
Closer to other issues, but I think I've got that one sorted. =)
Some changes will be implemented soon on this blog, and hopefully, in my life.
As of the 23rd another chapter begins. And in a year, hopefully some progress, and a new place to flourish in.
It doesn't matter if you're still part of the plan or not, as long as I'm in it, and following it up, and happy.
That's all that counts, really.
Enough of chasing shadows, I've just confronted an old one. And in the end, no one's really the real issue, when my own demons are the very things that incite all the bullshit currently plaguing me.
I've very blessed, and very loved.
Tuesday, 17 August 2010
Glee
Pleasantly... everything.
Looking forward to tomorrow (today?) and the possibility of letting go of the rage.
A nice hotel room with hot water and good company and the chance to heal some wounds sounds just... wonderful.
Got the words for it...
Pleasantly numbly excited.
Haha.
Looking forward to tomorrow (today?) and the possibility of letting go of the rage.
A nice hotel room with hot water and good company and the chance to heal some wounds sounds just... wonderful.
Got the words for it...
Pleasantly numbly excited.
Haha.
Monday, 16 August 2010
Holiday > Homicide
This is probably not the best of ideas... but I am getting the fuck out of dodge town. And uh... as to where and what my plans are from there... well, we'll keep that a mystery now, won't we?
Hee.
Beats hanging around for more bullshit from you. After the dramarama on two consecutive Thursday nights, you expect me to let you off so lightly with an inebriated apology?
No fucking way. You're a lousy friend anyway.
Get the fuck away from me. Stay away. I don't care if you think you're all pitiful and misunderstood - that's your business, not mine. Justify the lies with that, it's fine with me, I've decided that I'll go with the general consensus of the rest and just ignore the crap coming out of your trap.
You deal with your shit, I'll deal with mine, just keep the fuck away from moi.
Man I so need a holiday from this. And some TLC.
And I'm glad to announce that I'll be getting both soon.
Hee.
Beats hanging around for more bullshit from you. After the dramarama on two consecutive Thursday nights, you expect me to let you off so lightly with an inebriated apology?
No fucking way. You're a lousy friend anyway.
Get the fuck away from me. Stay away. I don't care if you think you're all pitiful and misunderstood - that's your business, not mine. Justify the lies with that, it's fine with me, I've decided that I'll go with the general consensus of the rest and just ignore the crap coming out of your trap.
You deal with your shit, I'll deal with mine, just keep the fuck away from moi.
Man I so need a holiday from this. And some TLC.
And I'm glad to announce that I'll be getting both soon.
Saturday, 14 August 2010
Prick
You are a liar and a user, and do not deserve my respect or friendship any longer.
You've long been planting doubts in my head, what with the contradicting stories you tell me, and the rest of us. Now we're starting to see you for what you are, we wonder - was she completely unjustified in her insanity? I do know for sure that you are a cheat... What else have you done? Cruel words and threats too?
You might always have regaled us with tales of her bad behaviour, speaking disdainfully about her - I now wonder, what of your own have you failed to mention? And if you do the same about the rest of us... Oh actually of that one I am sure you already do. I've heard you speak cruelly about your nearest and dearest one too many times.
Either way, I am done covering your arse for you, and lying on your behalf. Because you are a liar, a user, and a selfish, self-absorbed dick (interesting how that noun rhymes so well with your name) who doesn't deserve the trust, faith, or respect you seem to expect and demand from all of us. Especially me, the person you've fed the most crap just because I remain nice to you when all the others have given up on you.
You've bullshitted us over so many weeks already, and we're sick of it. Don't keep playing the victim - it's just rather pathetic, and it's kinda getting old already.
You've long been planting doubts in my head, what with the contradicting stories you tell me, and the rest of us. Now we're starting to see you for what you are, we wonder - was she completely unjustified in her insanity? I do know for sure that you are a cheat... What else have you done? Cruel words and threats too?
You might always have regaled us with tales of her bad behaviour, speaking disdainfully about her - I now wonder, what of your own have you failed to mention? And if you do the same about the rest of us... Oh actually of that one I am sure you already do. I've heard you speak cruelly about your nearest and dearest one too many times.
Either way, I am done covering your arse for you, and lying on your behalf. Because you are a liar, a user, and a selfish, self-absorbed dick (interesting how that noun rhymes so well with your name) who doesn't deserve the trust, faith, or respect you seem to expect and demand from all of us. Especially me, the person you've fed the most crap just because I remain nice to you when all the others have given up on you.
You've bullshitted us over so many weeks already, and we're sick of it. Don't keep playing the victim - it's just rather pathetic, and it's kinda getting old already.
Friday, 13 August 2010
Contrary
Being colder harder crueler did help keep me sane after all.
And rid me of your disgustingly pathetic self-pitying self-absorbed self-serving bullshit.
My apologies that I'm not as tolerant of all that crap as previous models.
Doing you a favour in adding definition to your grey areas.
Now you can delineate your needs and wants.
And rid me of your disgustingly pathetic self-pitying self-absorbed self-serving bullshit.
My apologies that I'm not as tolerant of all that crap as previous models.
Doing you a favour in adding definition to your grey areas.
Now you can delineate your needs and wants.
Wednesday, 11 August 2010
Keep Forgetting A Post Title
Ah such familiar emotions.
Funny how I look into the eyes of each and every man I fall in love with... and know deep down that he'll hurt me and that part of me would actually crave that out of some sick masochistic need to validate my hatred.
Don't really know how to separate love from hate, pleasure from pain, it's all just mixed up together in a poisonous cocktail that tastes oh-so-good burning its way down, but slowly kills me from the inside.
You're the same too, aren't you? I see it in your soul. We're such pitiful broken things.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's all right because I love the way you lie
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